


Please don't set fire to the bar

by EssayOfThoughts



Series: MCU Maximoff Oneshots [172]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Gen, No Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 20:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16562645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EssayOfThoughts/pseuds/EssayOfThoughts
Summary: Tony starts upThe Avengerbar because he’s a very bored teenager who doesn’t want to have to manage his dad’s business. Obie does that fine, doesn’t he, so he can just go off and do things that actually interest him.And sure, some of what interests him is tech, but he also enjoys getting drunk and throwing great parties.He didnotintend for theAvengerto end up the bar that accumulated ex-heroes.





	Please don't set fire to the bar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lucdarling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucdarling/gifts).



> Written for a prompt on my tumblr, which you can see over [Here](http://essayofthoughts.tumblr.com/post/179877552045/au-where-the-avengers-work-in-a-dive-bar-no).

**i.**  
Tony starts up  _The Avenger_  bar because he’s a very bored teenager who doesn’t want to have to manage his dad’s business. Obie does that fine, doesn’t he, so he can just go off and do things that actually interest him.

And sure, some of what interests him is tech, but he also enjoys getting drunk and throwing great parties.

He did  _not_  intend for the  _Avenger_  to end up the bar that accumulated ex-heroes.

 

* * *

 

**ii.**  
Steve and Nat start out just as bartenders but within about two months Steve’s managing … most of the day to day running, and Natasha handles the bar. Her buddy Clint, appeared out of the rafters and backs up Bruce as bouncer some evenings.

Bruce is a pretty unassuming guy, after all, and some people like to throw their weight around. Clint’s one of the few who can de-escalate that shit well, and Natasha likes her bar too much to head outside often. Tony would make a joke about her poisoning the wine, but then she asks  _What’s your poison_  with a little too much of a knife to her smile.

Steve is… he’s not sure why Steve Rogers, Captain goddamn America, has decided his bar is the place he wants to work, but he’s not exactly gonna turn him down. For all the fuss dear old dad made, Rogers is mostly unassuming when he isn’t standing, and helps keep the people inside in line. 

After all, everyone knows the stories of what happened to people who crossed the Captain.

 

* * *

 

**iii.**  
The sceptre ends up in their hands because when the Chitauri decide to start a gang war with the owners of  _Valhalla_ , shit goes sideways in about three ways you’d expect and then two more for good measure. Thor ends up running to them, because for  _some reason_  (Tony side-eyes Steve, but Steve says squat) he apparently thinks Steve’s trustworthy.

“They go running together,” Pepper tells him that evening. “And no one crosses the Captain.”

Tony splutters. “You crossed him yesterday!” he says.

Pepper shakes her head. “No. I disagreed with him and proved him  _wrong_ , yesterday. That’s fine. He likes that. But when people try to get past him, or start shit,  _that_  never ends well.”

 

* * *

 

**iv.**  
JARVIS is one of Tony’s creations. A neat little AI project designed mostly to help him organise his files and respond to emails that Tony doesn’t want to deal with. Technically, that’s why he hired Pepper, but since they started dating and its become less “he hired her” and more “she’s now the person who manages most of the accounts” JARVIS handles most of what she used to.

Quite how the Sceptre ends up messing with his system and taking over one of Tony’s work-in-progress robot systems no one knows, but everyone sees the metal man walking out of the burning remains of the  _Avenger._

 

* * *

 

**v.**  
“You’re not kicking kids out onto the street.”

Sam is one of Steve’s friends, veteran like him, stubborn like him, and marginally more approachable on account of not being six foot infinity like Steve is.

“And the…” Tony waves at the third new figure in their little tableau in the - thankfully - unburnt basement.

“Synthezoid,” the creature says. “My name is Vision.”

“ _That?”_  

“He’s been alive all of two days. Are you really going to kick him out too?”

Tony looks to Rhodey for help, but Rhodey’s arms are firmly crossed. “He’s got a good point,” Rhodey says. “Besides - what would Pepper say?”

Steve and Clint are standing beside the twins - small, barely even adults and scary-smart in scary things. The boy is altogether too good at breaking and entering, the girl a hacker beyond what Tony would have guessed.

They’re also the reason that Ultron came into being. The reason the  _Avenger_  burned down. The reason JARVIS is gone.

“I want to know why,” Tony says. Its not a question. “Also  _how.”_

The girl shrugs. “I would have to show you  _how,”_  she says. “And there is a fat chance of that.” There’s an accent edging her words, but its not one Tony recognises. Eastern European maybe. “As for why-”

“Your bombs,” the boy spits. “Your company. Do you not know what Stane is doing? Who he sells to? How many people he lets them kill?”

Clint’s hand rests on the boy’s shoulder. Tony is reminded of the photo stuck to the board behind the bar. Steve’s picture of Peggy, Bruce’s of a smiling dark-haired woman, Natasha’s of several girls and herself smiling in the middle. Clint’s of his wife, his two-soon-to-be-three kids. The people they each want to return to at the end of each day, whether they can or can’t. Of course Clint and Steve have decided to adopt the kids already.

The girl’s head is held high and proud - utterly unashamed of what she’s done and it reminds Tony of himself at her age, utterly unashamed after getting caught erasing half the records of university fees during his second year at college.

“Your bombs orphaned us,” she says. “The person you left in charge of your company is a monster, and you are as well, if you sit by and let it happen. How else were we to make you sit up and  _notice?_  Protests did not work.”

Tony glances around. At Rhodey, at Pepper. Both of them offer wry smiles. 

“Fine,” he says. “I’ll deal with Obie. But you can’t  _stay_ here. There’s barely even a  _here_  to stay at.”

It’s new-made Vision who speaks up at that, and it still jars Tony that his voice is exactly the same as JARVIS’. 

“I believe you have an estate,” he says. “In upstate New York. It would be a fine place to stay while the  _Avenger_  is rebuilt, would it not?”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments!


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